Warm 2 Kids

Unless you’ve been living under a rock, you’ve probably heard of Craiglist (even my mom has heard of Craigslist, and she just learned how to send a text message, like, a few weeks ago). If you haven’t, it’s basically a bunch of online classified ads. People can list things for sale or trade, or even a skeevy personal ad (though that’s a topic for a whooooole different blog post).

But actually, “skeevy” might be the appropriate word for what my husband found when he was browsing the Used Cars section the other night. Check this out, in all its for-real, OMG-I-can’t-believe-I’m-seeing-this glory (click on it for a larger view): 

Yes. Really. When Curtis quit laughing long enough to call me over to the computer, I couldn’t believe my eyes! What was the dude who posted this thinking?!

I mean, seriously. Everybody knows how to spell “diesel.”

(The lovely, semi-dignity-preserving blue stars in the photo are courtesy of yours truly. Whatever jerkface posted this didn’t even cover his woman’s girly parts!)

Source: ritatempleton@gmail.com (Rita/Fighting Off Frumpy)

Whew.

I’m glad my birthday is over. For real.

It wasn’t a horrible day – meaning I didn’t get in a wreck or find out I have a life-threatening disease or lose my home or get a divorce or accidentally wax off an entire eyebrow.

But it was a trying day. Meaning I had to dig something from the dog’s butt, clean up yarf from said dog who decided to eat her entire bowl of food and drink her entire bowl of water (twice – ugh!), cope with my husband forgetting it was even my birthday, and all sorts of other mundane yet irritating crap.

Curtis finally did remember … after our friend Luke read my blog and gave him a “courtesy call” (thanks, Luke!). So we went out to dinner. But not like a romantic one-on-one dinner … it was a dinner at a barbecue place with the kids. Where Cameron (our two-year-old) was, for some reason, so horrible that I didn’t even want to stay for dessert. And that’s like Paris Hilton not wanting to stay for a photo-op, y’all. That ought to tell you just how naughty he was being. He wouldn’t stay seated, we kept having to constantly shush him, and he was grabbing all over my pale pink shirt the whole time with his little barbecue-y fingers.

Then I went to Wal-Mart. I thought I was giving myself a break by taking only the baby. But I was wrong, as the baby cried for a solid ten minutes until I took him out of the cart and carried him. While pushing the cart. And getting groceries.

And when I got home, I made myself a birthday dessert. Which I burned.

BUT.

This coming weekend I will have the chance to really celebrate, with my best friends and extended family, when we pack up and head to our home state for a few days. My sister in law Arunporn is whipping me up a big Thai feast, my brother Steve is making my birthday cake (so if I never come back, you’ll know what happened), and my best girls will have drinks at the ready. So. I like to look at yesterday as a faux-birthday. A test run, if you will.

To close this post I’d like to share something with you that I found hi-LARIOUS. This is an actual excerpt that I took from my Facebook feed, posted by an actual friend of mine (his identifying details have been anonymized, natch). It was so priceless that I had to take a screenshot:

Love it. You know who you are.

 

Source: ritatempleton@gmail.com (Rita/Fighting Off Frumpy)

Whew.

I’m glad my birthday is over. For real.

It wasn’t a horrible day – meaning I didn’t get in a wreck or find out I have a life-threatening disease or lose my home or get a divorce or accidentally wax off an entire eyebrow.

But it was a trying day. Meaning I had to dig something from the dog’s butt, clean up yarf from said dog who decided to eat her entire bowl of food and drink her entire bowl of water (twice – ugh!), cope with my husband forgetting it was even my birthday, and all sorts of other mundane yet irritating crap.

Curtis finally did remember … after our friend Luke read my blog and gave him a “courtesy call” (thanks, Luke!). So we went out to dinner. But not like a romantic one-on-one dinner … it was a dinner at a barbecue place with the kids. Where Cameron (our two-year-old) was, for some reason, so horrible that I didn’t even want to stay for dessert. And that’s like Paris Hilton not wanting to stay for a photo-op, y’all. That ought to tell you just how naughty he was being. He wouldn’t stay seated, we kept having to constantly shush him, and he was grabbing all over my pale pink shirt the whole time with his little barbecue-y fingers.

Then I went to Wal-Mart. I thought I was giving myself a break by taking only the baby. But I was wrong, as the baby cried for a solid ten minutes until I took him out of the cart and carried him. While pushing the cart. And getting groceries.

And when I got home, I made myself a birthday dessert. Which I burned.

BUT.

This coming weekend I will have the chance to really celebrate, with my best friends and extended family, when we pack up and head to our home state for a few days. My sister in law Arunporn is whipping me up a big Thai feast, my brother Steve is making my birthday cake (so if I never come back, you’ll know what happened), and my best girls will have drinks at the ready. So. I like to look at yesterday as a faux-birthday. A test run, if you will.

To close this post I’d like to share something with you that I found hi-LARIOUS. This is an actual excerpt that I took from my Facebook feed, posted by an actual friend of mine (his identifying details have been anonymized, natch). It was so priceless that I had to take a screenshot:

Love it. You know who you are.

 

Source: ritatempleton@gmail.com (Rita/Fighting Off Frumpy)

So. Today’s my birthday. And do you wanna know how I ushered in my 30s?

Probably not, but I’m going to tell you anyway.

I used a folded leaf to extract something sticking out of my dog’s butt.

Now if that’s not a celebration, I don’t know what is.

In other news, my husband appears to have forgotten my birthday. I mean, I’m giving him the benefit of the doubt for now. But this morning has been … well, average (aside from the dog-ass debacle). We got up, fixed the kids breakfast, got Colin ready for school, Curtis got ready for work. And so far … so far … I’ve not gotten so much as a “happy birthday” from him. No acknowledgement whatsoever.

I’m pretty sure that isn’t because he’s planning some huge surprise later. He typically isn’t that kind of dude. It’s most likely because he actually forgot, and will try to play it off later. Like on our third wedding anniversary, when he told me my present was “in the car” … after which I heard the car start up and drive away. To the store. To buy me a present.

I got some sweet earrings out of the deal, but still.

I can’t complain too much though. I woke up this morning, which is a definite plus. I didn’t morph into a total wrinkled hag in the wee hours between 29 and 30, so that’s cool. I did wake up with a pimple, but maybe that’s just my body’s way of being like, “Hey, you’re still young. Because only youngsters get pimples.”

Right?

RIGHT?

*cricket, cricket*

To add a little bit of awesomeness to the day, I get to give away the Eden Fantasys gift certificate!

And the winner, per random.org, is … drum roll please …

Commenter #5 … amy rae!

Congratulations! And if your name isn’t Amy, don’t worry … I’ve got at least three more giveaways up my sleeve, y’all.

Anyway, I’m off to change a diaper that I have neglected for the past fifteen minutes while writing this blog. Which means it’ll be nice and squishy. Oh, yay!

Have a great Monday, everyone.

Source: ritatempleton@gmail.com (Rita/Fighting Off Frumpy)

The crewchief has been called away on urgent business.

More here: http://psalmsixtyeight.blogspot.com/2010/08/uggh.html

Source: noreply@blogger.com (Stephanie @ Ralphcrew)